Maintain consistent boundaries: I finally found out that it is rather simple just to say no– NO to things that seem not right– NO to things that subconsciously control your brain; NO to things that take up your precious time; NO to inappropriate behavior or relationships. In saying no, you’re not being selfish because, finally, it’s all about you. And do this the first time, not the 100th time. Why? Because by the 100th time the noxious person has influenced your brain. That’s why it takes such a long time to recover after poor marriages, family relationships etc.
Self-inspection: How long have you been letting these toxic relationships go on? By the time you finally looked around you’ll find more than a few people that don’t respect your values. How did that happen? Inappropriate behavior truly is about them-not about you. I admit in this world It’s hard not to just get used to them. What I found worked for was -Time alone, to take time out. Realize that it was true when people say, “if you want to see your future, look at the 5 closest people around you.” If they are not respectful, uplifting, boundary abiding, or kind, say goodbye.
Bring your brain new material: In this world, you must make your own happiness. You must find and bring positivity into your own life. Start a morning ritual. Meditation is first and foremost. It may be difficult in the beginning, but it is well worth the effort. Start your day with good thoughts, meditation and ideas; positive reading and goal setting will get your day off to the right start. Ask yourself how many minutes of each day are positive and how many are negative? This can be eye opening. You need to up that positive ratio! Listen to podcasts in the car. Some great examples are Deepak Chopra, Tom Bilyeu and Wayne Dyer.If you’re next to someone negative in the gym, put in those earphones. Network with positive people, people who have goals and who are forward thinking. My rule is that if they don’t have goals, ideas and are not working toward something, we just won’t mesh. This doesn’t just mean friends; it includes family, too. If your days starts out right and you leave no room for negative people, you–and your brain–will feel happier.
Make working out hard a habit: Hands down, the most immediate serotonin jump starter is working out. I tell all my clients that they are worth that hour. One hour is just 4 percent of your day. Great health and fitness not only make you look better, but they also make you feel better. This good feeling directly relates to the quality of your life.
Be kind to yourself: This is the most important element in shaping a new brain. If your own self-respect and your own self-treatment bar is low, what will you attract in your life? Not sure what that means? It means, don’t feel guilty to say no. It means cutting off behavior you do not want. Not doing things in your best interest. Finally, it means getting to know yourself and to know your “one” word, the word that best defines you because if you don’t know your own definition, your boundaries will be blurry to them and to you. Every hear women say, “I don’t remember who I was before we met?” SO if your boundaries aren’t clear and strong, ANYONE can come in and define who you are and who you want to be.
Lastly, we all must work. When working with the public there are bound to be more than a few inappropriate people particularly when they handle your paycheck. Whether you are dealing with the inappropriate innuendos, flirting or the boss that needs anger management, we can endure this and save our jobs by having outlets like fitness, nature and positive supportive friendships.
